Larry the Cable Guy is one funny dude. Enjoy some of his best one-liners:
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
I don't care what anybody says, "THAT'S FUNNY RIGHT THERE!" "GIT 'ER DUN !!!"
Lucky :)
When I was in the Army I had surgery on my elbow.
When I was in recovery, I asked the doctor if I was going to be able to play the piano when I healed and he said YES.
I said, GOOD I always wanted to play the piano!
Larry is one funny dude!!!
Big fan of the blue collar comedy.. thanks for the laugh
Lucky,
That's an inspiring list. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. That'll get the lender stirred into action. How about 15? I guess it's time to change course. Enjoyed your stuff.
Another great break from work. My favorite is #23.
Thanks!
Sugar Land, Tx
Where Life is Sweet
Hey Everyone,
Thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you all enjoyed these.
I can't wait until Larry the Cable Guy comes to Davenport again!
There just isn't anyone else quite like him........good thing......that would be very scary!
Lucky :)
Gena,
Unbelievable, isn't it?
Take care, my California Girl!
Lucky :)
Lucky II,
Joe is funny for sure! That would be fun!
Silvia,
Have you ever seen them in person?
Lucky :)
Dang that a mighty good list.
My corporate brother heard of the Cable Guy for the first time, this week. Monday during a phone conversation he said "Frank, I just saw this country guy... I think they call him The Cable Guy, he is funny,you should check him out". My brother needs to get out more, bless his heart.
Frank,
That is funny right there!
Lucky :)
Lucky,
Larry lives only two towns over from me. Not quite sure exactly where his house is, but everyone locally knows that he hails from Sanford.
I really enjoy the whole Blue Collar comedy routine that they all put on. They all work well together.
Thanks for the laugh with your list.
Jason,
My pleasure!
Lucky :)
Had to bookmark so I have something to go back to for a good chuckle...thanks for the smile on this Friday am!
Just remembered something...my daughter downloaded ringtones of Larry and different sayings. haha
Sally,
Were they free? If so, let me know!
Thanks,
Lucky :)
Jim,
I'll send 'em if I get 'em!
Git 'er dun!
Lucky :)
"Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow."
Ok, those were funny, but that last one had to be the best one I liked! LOL....
Becky,
Doesn't it hurt just thinking about some of these?
Lucky :)
Good stuff,
I needed a little humor this morning!